Director: Hideshi Hino
Starring: Kirara Yugao and Hiroshi Tamura
Duration: 42 minutes

Ah, you can never beat some Japanese gore because seriously, they do it better than anyone else. Recently I’ve become pretty consumed in viewing what the Internet deems as extreme films, but the extremity all depends on who you are and what you’ve seen. So it seemed appropriate to watch Guinea Pig Series: Flowers of Flesh and Blood.

This film holds host to some of the most realistic mutilation I’ve ever witnessed, and I can almost see how Charlie Sheen thought it was real, resulting in a freak out and a call to the FBI. He certainly was not winning that day. Although my Scooby Gang and I never turned a head, we did expel some “OH FUCK!”s with wincing faces. Anyway, let’s get cracking, literally…

As a woman walks to her humble abode, probably looking forward to a hot cup of tea, she’s knocked out with some classic chloroform by a curious attacker. The unknowing woman awakes to find herself in a crimson dungeon, strapped down by her wrists and ankles. From that point on, we’re fortunate enough to observe a white-faced samurai transform the girl into a beautiful, blood soaked ‘flower of flesh and blood’.

First things first, let’s talk about why this film satisfied me so much. The gore was purely astounding, the way it was so meticulous in realism really had my mind scrambling to remember it wasn’t a real snuff film. Of course camera tricks are used, such as cutaways, but those cutaways end up as intense close-ups that show the ripping and tearing of skin, tendons, ligaments and then bone. In many severe gore films the actual dismemberment of the ‘participant’ is fairly clean, and often performed with razor-sharp instruments – but this samurai likes being caught red handed. Think of how you savagely mutilate the Christmas turkey whilst drunk; your hands all slimey, your mouth watering and any hint of disgust, vanished. Take that thought, imagine the turkey is a naked woman and add a shit tone of blood and visceral, a little elbow grease and you’re nearly there imagery wise.

I shouldn’t focus solely on the carnage aspect, so we’ll discus plot, dialogue and not much else. The overall plot of the film isn’t filled with flair or miles of unforeseeable bends, but it wasn’t designed for that purpose. As a segment on its on, some might say the story is non-existent and dull, but seeing as it’s a series, this is just one small part of the slaughter jigsaw. In terms of dialogue, you shouldn’t be surprised that the woman doesn’t really get her chance to trade pleasantries, but the samurai offers up a plethora of his ramblings. Banging on about how he’s reconstructing her into a fucking gerbera whilst hacking her into pieces. You can’t get more philosophical than that really.

Basically, I found the whole film utterly breath-taking in both the ways of amazement and pure terror; you cannot stop from staring open-mouthed at the screen whilst being so horrified you feel you should just turn it off. To me, that shows they did a bloody good job. Sometimes, it’s the worst and most disturbing things that intrigue and make you tell your mates to look at it. If like me, you daydream of laying in a bath tub full of blood and human matter, then you know you’ll go watch this tonight.

Verdict: 5 out of 5

Verdict: 5 out of 5

Director: Tun Fei Mou
Starring: Jianxin Chen, Hsu Gou and Linjie Hao
Duration: 105 minutes

You may have noticed there seems to be a recurring theme of extreme Japanese snuff, gore movies, which is true, but Men Behind The Sun is a little bit different from the others. Although it’s still deemed in the same category, it unfortunately has some truth to it as it depicts the atrocious medical experiments that were inflicted upon prisoners by the Japanese Unit 731 in World War II. Mou intended to educate us on how fucking brutal these experiments were, although some argue it’s more exploitative than educational. Nether the less, the film has a powerful message to convey, even if it’s not as attention grabbing as it’d like to be.

The plot is fairly straightforward – prisoners are unrelentingly tested on, much similar to the way we test on bunnies to just reinstate that shampoo does burn your retinas. The sole purpose of inflicting such cruelty to these prisoners is to find the ultimate strain of bubonic plague, to give as a little present to the Chinese. Talk about giving them a cherry on top. From here we follow the struggle of the Young Corps as they try to understand the purpose of these monstrosities.

Being able to say that the FX effects in this were shockingly realistic would be nice, however, it’s so precise because it is real. No, I don’t mean it’s a genuine snuff film (there will be some reviews of that kind of stuff soon though, don’t worry) but real corpses of humans and animals were used to achieve success. I clearly remember watching the scene where a young child is sliced down the centre and opened up like it’s Christmas, going “I have never seen anything that looks so fucking real man!” This was followed by my discovery that it’s a genuine autopsy. That surreal feeling hit my stomach and my bones felt like they’d dissolved, but I guess it was no worse than Channel 4’s Embarrassing Bodies.

Another scene that I found fascinating, and was also performed with genuine rotten limbs, was when a young female is subjected to polar temperatures. This ultimately leads to severe frostbite, leaving her arms looking like an icicle bomb was detonated within her veins. Obviously, they skip the vital medical treatment that she urgently needs and opt for something more controversial. I guess you could call it one of those homeopathy remedies, because they plunge her arms into boiling water (did their mother not tell them not to do that!?) and then proceed to chaotically bash off the remainders. It reminded me of those erratic arcade games where you have to smack the rat. We’re given a selection of these callous and inhuman acts throughout, some including birds and crucifixes. A pick and mix of body mutilation…

None of the aforementioned really bothered me much, but the most distressing scene for my backwards brain was witnessing a little pussy savaged by barbaric rats. The Japanese might eat cats, but they don’t kill them for fun, as I found out about this scene. Mr. Paws was covered in red honey, which those greedy-guts just licked off instead. Phew. But then the rats are ruthlessly burned alive, leaving a sour taste in my mouth. I know nearly everyone thinks rats are vermin, but they’re cute to me, so watching the frenzied fire made me sad face.

Due to this films historical content, partnered with exploitative horror aspects, it probably won’t be the drama you choose to watch with your grandparents whilst eating your Sunday roast – unless you thrive off the unpleasant atmosphere of your Nan becoming traumatised and your Granddad pissing himself laughing. Also, I’d avoid the dubbed version due to it making not much sense and the manager of medical mutilations sounding too much like Matt Berry. Nether the less, Men Behind The Sun is a disturbing yet intriguing look at the horror that dwells within mankind.

Verdict: 3 out of 5

Director: Tamakichi Anaru
Starring: Kanako Ooba, Kikurin, Tamakichi Anaru & Yuuji Kitano
Duration: 77minutes

For a long time I’ve been secretly obsessed with Cat III Asian horror films, although I wasn’t sure whether the brutality of them would wither my like for lesser gory films, which stopped me from viewing them. Fortunately, the snuff legend that is Damian re-encouraged my perturbed and perverted side, so I delved deeper than I thought I would. As you can see, he wrote a far better review of this film than me, but after watching Tumbling Doll of Flesh (aka Psycho The Snuff Reels and about eight other titles) at 7am, I needed to give my two pence on it.

The plot is how you’d expect most snuff films to proceed; porn, torture, death, but I’ll be a top lass and give you a little more substance. We have our Director, who I’ll call Dave, who is obviously making a snuff movie alongside his Cameraman, who I’ll call Cameron. I’m naming them so it’s easier for you and I, to follow this. Dave casts Kana and Kiku as his two love birds after interviewing them and presumably not informing them adequately about the intricacies of their roles. From there, the aforementioned porn, torture and death commences.

Due to not having access to English subtitles, I did what I usually do and wrote the script in my head – it can then be anything you want. So, we start with approximately 45 minutes of softcore pornography, that pixilates the dick and minge locations, which is hilarious seeing as they don’t pixilate the all important cum shot. Unfortunately for me, I’ve never been much of a fanatic about women’s arseholes, and there’s an abundance of that, but hey, I’m sure many of you will find that bit the best! However, I was in hysterics watching them making serious jack off material when the bed fucking breaks. Just reminds you of how awkward and unattractive real life sex can be.

I was just about to give up and masturbate instead of waiting for the horror aspect to kick in, but I was quickly catapulted into one of the most disturbing sequences of events I’ve witnessed. I genuinely felt a pang of sympathy for Kana, as her tits were compacted and distorted into ropes while everyone in the room had a turn at shoving what looked like carrots and electrical equipment into her arse. Poor little doll. After this, Kana, not surprisingly, decides to leave the film, but a baseball bat has other ideas.

This is where Tumbling Doll of Flesh goes from 10% nasty to 100% in matter of seconds. It was like taking a stroll in the sun to the shops, when BAM some fucker just decapitated you. Kana is bound to the bed, with a bra on her head – maturity at its finest – and half stripped, half not. It was a bit half arsed. Kiku seems as if he’s slightly weirded out, but continues to pound her as she meanders in and out of consciousness. As he’s doing so, Dave and Cameron start hacking limbs off and doing all manner of gruesome acts.

Obviously, I don’t want to ruin all the exciting gory parts, but it’s hard not to mention them all. Dave proceeds to slice Kana’s tongue out due to her annoying screaming – no need to ruin the moment – yet he does it with the single most inefficient razor ever, which made me cringe at how blunt it was. I cut my legs open worse when shaving. The special effects are not as realistic as in Guinea Pig Series, but the violence itself is almost unimaginable. I guess the epitome of this is when they embark in my favourite past time, disembowelment. Once her slimy intestines are half in, half out, there’s only one thing that’s going to continue the snuff theme. I won’t detail exactly what happens, but have you ever heard of the saying “Every hole’s a goal”?

The end is as you would expect – they all live happily ever after… Not! If you’ve found the slightly longer version, watch through the credits. I’m not sure what the hell was actually going on, but it has erratic imagery of a woman slowly slicing herself open and then indulging in a little nibble. Is it quite concerning that it made me really hungry? Also, I just need to mention that Director Tamakichi’s surname Anaru actually means anal, which is just outright badass. It might seem that these snuff films are majorly sexist, but don’t you worry, Kiku loses the one part of himself that was integral to the whole film…

Anyway, this film is never going to be something for all of you – it’s on the higher end of the scale of CAT III films, and probably only suitable for those who aren’t quite right in the head anyway. But if you’re a self-proclaimed mentally disturbed wrong ‘un like myself, then you’ll be milking over this film in more ways than one.

Verdict: 4 out of 5

Director: Herman Yau
Starring: Anthony Chau-Sang Wong, Yeung-Ming Wan and Fui-On Shing
Duration: 98 minutes (Three hours uncut)

So, when I was only three years old, Herman Yau released probably one of the mentalist films I’ve ever seen; Ebola Syndrome. Yes, I agree, it’s most likely the most inappropriate time to review this film due to current going-ons, but when you see a film named that you can’t just leave it unwatched. Also, this is meant to be Japanese snuff, but I seem to have veered off into all CAT III and forgotten to focus primarily on snuff – so you’ll just have to like it or lump it. Snuff month is ending rapidly, but please don’t cry, as there will be plenty more in the future.

The premise of this insane film is fairly straightforward; Kai is pounding his boss’ wife, and like every good husband, his boss attempts to lob his dick off in front of the whole family. Who says that’s not a family activit? Kai won’t be the victim here, so he creatively slaughters the boss, wife and son whilst the young daughter intently soaks in the vile smell of rust and rage. With a bounty hanging over his head, he flees to South Africa. Ten years later he’s working in a restaurant serving mutilated frogs, when he takes a trip with his boss to get pigs from an African tribe. Kai clearly can’t control his perturbed sexual urges, so he rapes an African tribe woman whilst she’s having an ebola fit – kind of like a human sized vibrator. From there, Kai becomes engrossed in being an absolute fucking nutter and spreading ebola like wild fire.

Some of these CAT III films have amazingly intense gore and violence, however they lack in two areas that Ebola Syndrome really picks up on; comedy and storyline. Admittedly, I will watch 90 minutes of nothing but gore, but it’s obviously far more satisfying when the characters have definition and there’s questions to be asked. We’re plunged into the berserk waters within the first few minutes, giving us a succulent taste of the disturbing yet hilarious scenes to come.

Throughout the film, Kai progressively becomes more and more engrossed in his own capabilities of raping, butchering and being an all round arsehole to nearly every one he meets. He continuously mentions how people are “bullying” him, and his response is to bring bloodshed down on them. In one scene he viciously rapes his new boss’ wife, and then executes the boss, the wife and her cousin using various restaurant utilities and chairs. In a particularly gruesome scene, he grinds and pulverises the trio, turning them in scrumptious “African buns” loaded with a dose of ebola and human flesh. The customers can’t get enough of them!

The disease that steadily liquefies your insides spreads continuously as Kai can’t keep it in his trousers for more than twenty seconds. This is where my slightly sick brain initiated the funny factor, and as crowds behind to convulse involuntarily, I was in hysterics imagining them also shout that they’re going to shit themselves. If you want to know why I’d presume this, then you will have to ask to know this strange story from my life. Anyway, back to epidemic ebola.

As a nationwide manhunt commences, Kai learns of his new ability, which is having a deadly infectious virus that even the HAZMAT suits are terrified of contracting. Then again no one wants to have their muscles rot away from under their skin. Obviously, I’m trying to encourage you to see this movie, so I won’t give away the ending, but you can imagine how the show down goes when a mentally unstable weirdo starts not giving a fuck and spitting god damn blood on everyone and everything, whilst shouting “EBOLAAAAAA!” Oh god, I’m crying with laughter just remembering. The amount of jokes in this film is almost unbearable for me. Haha.

Ebola Syndrome is gross, implacable, savage, nauseating, comically priceless and one hell of a pleasurable ride. I thought it would be absolute trash, but I stand corrected and impressed for a film about something so brutal. Dark humour makes everything more sinister and unsettling, yet that’s what makes this film so relentlessly grim. It is probably an acquired taste, but it’s a million miles away from the disgusting content seen in some CAT III films. Seriously though, you’re looking for something to watch this weekend; you’ve just found it. Oh, and I didn’t bother with the three hour uncut version because “Ain’t nobody got time fo’ dat!” but I’m mildly yearning to do so in the future.

Verdict: 4 out of 5

Bonus: it’s on YouTube and here it is, so you have no excuse but to watch it!

Love her everyday of the month…

Director: Scott Schirmer
Starring: Gavin Brown, Ethan Philbeck Louie Lawless and Phyllis Munroe
Duration: 103 minutes

This film has been on my radar since day one, and not only due to the fact that since it’s been doing the festival rounds I’ve heard nothing but absolute praise for Found. For me, one of the most terrifying things in life are serial killers; they’re real and could be living next door to you, or even under the same roof. We don’t know how their warped minds work, and we’ll never comprehend it. This film provides a very realistic and daunting view at the homemade serial killer.

Before we start, quick “fun” fact: Apparently, you’ll interact with a murderer approximately 36 times in your life. Remember that when you’re swiping right on Tinder.

Marty is your average, nerdy adolescent boy who happens to also be obsessed with horror films, as many young boys are at his age. He’s picked on by some of the other boys at school for being weird, but for Marty nothing too out of the ordinary. That is until he finds a severed human head stashed in a bowling bag in his older brother, Steve’s, room. As his life transforms into a horror film, Marty desperately tries to keep a brotherly bond as not to disrupt his brother’s usual victims.

One way to stop her nagging.

Finding a film that is genuinely frightening and keeps you awake for a few nights afterwards is becoming more and more of a challenge. There have been brutal films that look real, films about very real and chilling scenarios, but nothing that made me question the motives of my own family. Found pushed me to that dark place, where I remembered that not all families know each other inside out… In terms of secrets, not skin. Witnessing Marty’s fall into despair as he goes from thinking his psychotic, murdering brother is pretty fucking awesome to realising that everyone he knows could end up as no more than a bowling ball imitation, made me want to crawl under my duvet.

Found also features some intensely gory and disturbing scenes, particularly those that feature in Headless, the film within the film that inspires the mental Steve to commit such heinous crimes. We’ve got some blood showers, decapitations and even a little bit of romancing that decapitated head… Yeah, you get the jist. As we near the climax of Found, the carnage ramps up, and although this film doesn’t explicitly show every detail, sometimes the sounds are enough. Especially when he’s committing an unsavoury act on his own mother – if I were her, I’d have been more than happy to have my fucking head chopped off.

I have longed for a film where I spent over ten minutes analysing it in my mind and thinking about the perturbed nature of what I just saw. Imagine being an 11 year old child and finding out your idol, your protector, ferociously beheads people whilst you’re tucked up in the next room? Horrific. But then coming to know your own flesh and blood has ingrained thoughts of slaughtering your Mum, Dad and yes, even you. To me, that single thought it more petrifying than any mentalist chopping women up for snuff films. The ending of this film is the epitome of horror for me; one of the most gut and heart-wrenching scenes to end upon.

Honestly, this film has secured its place in my top ten movies of ever. I absolutely lavished every single second of the ensuing uncomfortable, dark and haunting atmosphere that flowed throughout. I also really enjoyed seeing Ethan Philbeck drenched in blood, with a shit-hot impressive erection! Something about this film just grabbed me and asphyxiated me with panic and terror. Also, Headless has just been made into a real film so I bagged myself a signed copy. If you’re a horror hound, you’ll equally find this film entertaining yet horrible.

Verdict: 5 out of 5

Turtlenecks are a vampires best friend.

Director: Tom Holland
Starring: Chris Sarandon, William Ragsdale, Roddy McDowall, Amanda Bearse and Stephen Geoffreys
Duration: 106 minutes

You’re probably wondering why I haven’t already watched this classic vampire movie, but it’s purely down to time, and the ever-growing list of films to watch. I go through stages where I fall in and out of love with the concept of vampires, but after watching Fright Night it reinstalled my lust for the bloodsuckers. This comedy horror reminds us why you should always believe your friends, and never introduce your girlfriend to suave, sexy and sophisticated monsters.

Charley Brewster loves horror films, and in particular he loves the show Fright Night, that features Peter Vincent hunting and killing vampires. When Charley acquires two new neighbours, he begins to notice that they have suspect behaviour, such as carrying coffins and body bags around in the dead of night. After a few close call incidents with Jerry Danbridge, the big bad guy, he tells his girlfriend, Amy, and friend, Evil Ed, that he’s living next to vampires. Of course, no one believes Charley, so they enforce the help of Vincent to pretend to disprove the fangful theory, yet they soon realise Charley isn’t just crying wolf.

Fright Night is the perfect example of how comedy horror should be executed. I’ve never been a huge lover of comedy horror, because it’s often poorly put together, and the ratio of comedy to horror needs to be just right. There’s also the aspect of needing to keep the film fairly scary in places. Anyway, enough moaning. The whole film envisages the atmosphere of cheesy b-movie 80s horror films, but not in a cringe way, in a really sleek and cool way. The film encompasses that aura of feeling highly uncomfortable and being very wary of your surroundings, which is the exactly how Charley feels living next to the enigma that is Jerry Danbridge.

Similar to when your Nan tries to give you a kiss…

Danbridge is almost (I say this because Dracula and Lestat) the perfect vampire; he’s got that breath-taking demeanour, full of power and lust. There’s no wonder Amy mercilessly falls into his arms – I would! He has a clear way with the ladies, even twinkling those dreamy eyes at Charley’s mother and making her succumb to the false truth that he’s just their overtly handsome new neighbour. Obviously, once he’s transformed into blood munching mode he’s pretty darn frightening. Nope, I would not let that deformed and slimy mouth come anywhere near mine.

The other character to pick up on is Evil Ed, who is the single most hilarious character I have seen in any film ever. Period. “YOU’RE SO COOL, BREWSTER!” I honestly had that, and his face, going around in my head all night and I just kept laughing. If I could create my ideal mate, it’d be Evil Ed. What’s even more brilliant is SPOILER once he’s bitten and turned, he’s still funny as fuck as a disfigured beast with some nasty cross scarred into his forehead.

Considering the date on this film – it’s definitely getting on a bit – it has aged terribly well, especially the SFX. No, we’re not talking cunting Twilight vampires with sparkly bits (WHAT THE HELL GUYS!?), we’re talking torn, stretched and cracked mouths, crammed full with razor sharp teeth just gagging to sink into your fleshy neck. We’ve all seen fangs, but these are the fangs of something truly evil. There’s a slight variation between the overall vampire look after they’ve been bitten, but generally it’s grotesque and hideous – kind of like when you look beside you after a night out. Instant “get the fuck away”. The make-up is by far some of the most unsightly looking transformation design, and it’s awesome!

He gets pissed when you call him Evil Ed!

It did leave me a little bewildered, but purely because I know they remade this film in 2011 and it starred Colin Farrell, David Tennant, McLovin and some other famous people. WHY? After watching this, there was absolutely no reason what so ever to remake it… Sarandon might not be the best of lookers nowadays, but Farrell just doesn’t cut it as Danbridge in my eyes.

As you can tell, I thoroughly enjoyed Fright Night for more than just a couple of reasons. The SFX, characters, atmosphere and also the comedy was well constructed and the whole film flows overall. Sometimes you’re just after something to watch that gives you some pleasure and isn’t tough, gross or boring in places, but still has horror. I’d highly recommend watching this ASAP. I’m genuinely disappointed with myself that I left it so long before actually watching this.

Verdict: 4 out of 5

We’re watching you….

Director: Zachary Donohue
Starring: Melanie Papalia, David Schlachtenhaufen and Adam Shapiro
Duration: 81 minutes

Well, I’ve read an eclectic mix of amazing reviews to downright shoddy reviews about this film, so I’ve kind of just not bothered watching it as soon as I should have. But alas, it was finally the right time to find out what truth the reviews about The Den hold. I know many people aren’t into the whole found footage thing, but honestly, they really make me feel like I’m there. For me, that just makes the entire endeavour more pulse racing. However, the found footage aspect is given a slightly different twist, so you haters might, just might, enjoy it.

We follow Elizabeth, a University student studying social media, who plans on engaging with as many different people online for her dissertation. The site she uses to interact is called The Den and is similar to the well-known ChatRoulette. You know you’ve been on there. You know it wasn’t pretty. It seems there isn’t the abundance of distinct individuals that Elizabeth was hoping for and she soon begins to feel the project is slipping away. That is until she witnesses the harsh murder of a young girl whom she previously and briefly spoke with. Events quickly spiral into something seriously sinister as she frantically tries to find out the truth.

I’d rather a cheese sandwich thanks.

The online world can be a dark dungeon full of unthinkable characters, and The Den is a big reminder that you never really know who you’re talking to. We watch through Elizabeth’s computer and phone, so it almost feels as if you’re on the computer. It’s a strange viewing experience to begin with, but it creates this realistic feel, especially for obsessed and frequent Internet users such as myself. An ultimate fear of mine is being on facetime or webcam and being told that there’s something behind you, or spotting it in the little picture. Instant dread. The shots can be iffy at times and you could argue the point of why would she film that, but I’d rather that than a blank screen. It pushes realism with the fact it feels like it’s happening real time on your computer.

The overall story was interesting and kept you on your toes with a few twists and some very tense scenes. There were a fair few “He’s behind you!” moments, but those are often the ones that really get you anxious, because you know they’re oblivious. Every character had quite a well fleshed out personality, which definitely helps to push the film in the right direction. As The Den nears the end, the violence takes a gruesome leap forwards and we begin to realise that the current horror is not a small scale something.

The unknown perpetrators not only use violence, but they expertly hack Elizabeth’s computer and play games with her. No, I’m not on about words with friends or candy crush. They set her webcam to record whilst her boyfriend is getting his munch on – so always remember to shut the screen down kids! Nothing is more horrific than that, until you find out it was sent to the top cats that funded your social project. That’s having a bad day.

I think she knows he’s behind her this time.

Criticised for over exaggerating on the perils of the Internet, I disagree as growing up in the digital age leaves us continuously trusting anonymous people online. We share a staggering amount of information about ourselves, without really thinking of the complications that could ever arise from it. It may not be your conventional horror, and possibly it does push the reality a tad, but it makes it fucking scary, and that’s the point.

After watching this, I considered how many of you lovely lot could be serial killers, but I’m fairly convinced there’s not one amongst you. Nether the less, they could possibly show this in schools and make the kids shit themselves with fear of Twitter users without profile pictures or Instagram accounts with no selfless. The Den is a fresh, captivating film for those of you who find the subgenre of found footage compelling and chilling.

Verdict: 4 out of 5

Director: Jörg Buttgereit
Starring: Daktari Lorenz and Beatrice Manowski
Duration: 71 minutes

The lingering sadness that inevitably accompanies all romance films is something I just cannot stand. My whole life I’ve shied away from all that lovey dovey bullshit – for some reason it just makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable. That doesn’t make me a heartless monster, as I do make exceptions when I’m feeling it. Some might disagree with calling Nekromantik a love story; it may not be conventional, but it’s a heartbreaking tale. This controversial cult film has been subject to oppression in many countries after being banned due to explicit and disturbing content, but last year the BBFC reclassified it as an 18 uncut, therefore allowing me to purchase this shocking film and indulge in a little dead romantic courtship.

Robert works at a street cleaning agency where they have the gruesome pleasure of cleaning up grisly crime scenes or deaths, and disposing of the bodies, or what’s left of them. It’s pretty much the perfect job for a necrophiliac – no, not necrophile, look up the differences, it might just save you your corpse virginity – as these lifeless bodies are just looking for a new home. What wife wants flowers when they can have a rotting carcass instead? Betty is delighted at the gift from her husband and they prepare for a cheeky threesome with their new toy, by creating a penis to be ridden from a metal pole with a condom on it. What could possibly go wrong? Well, except for getting myiasis, the corpse causes some serious relationship issues that end in betrayal, heartbreak and despair.

When you tell people you’re casually sitting down to watch a film entitled Nekromantik, they give you this look that asks, “Are you actually into fucking dead bodies?” Nah mate, I’m fucking not, you absolute cretin. Anyway. The concept of necrophilia is a sickening, yet strangely intriguing one to many of us – curiosity of something you’ve never desired yet others do is a trait we all hold. It’s clear that Betty and Rob’s obsession with the dead could come from an inner fear of death, as discussed in a scene where Rob watches an interview with a psychiatrist about arachnophobia, and how exposure may be the only cure for extreme phobias. This theory is reinstalled by a particularly distressing, recurring past memory of Rob’s where his beloved pet bunny has its throat slit and then is flayed, presumably by his father or someone.

Cat’s blood holds eternal youth.

Obviously, one of the main reasons this film is both regarded as contentious and adored by many is the continuous theme of making love to a deceased person paired with bloody violence that doesn’t restrict itself to humans or animals. As the film opens we’re thrown into the bloodshed with a horrific car accident scene, which leaves the passengers feeling torn in two. Rob and Betty own quite the collection of various body parts and other anomalies stored in formaldehyde, although it’s hardly a display of interest, it’s more like the behind the scenes quarters of St Guy’s hospital. Franz Rodenkirchen should be hailed for his incredible special effects work on this film, along with the creative minds of both Buttgereit and Lorenz, as together they produced the corpse that awkwardly takes centre stage. The dripping, decaying and downright dirty corpse is a work of art in itself as it realistically resembles that of a body in the process of rotting away, along with a solemn sadness that seems to accompany death. Seeing Betty relish in writhing all over the body whilst this putrid slime covers her is something of a nightmare to us, and an erotic fantasy to her. Honestly, the effects in this film are so spot-on you have to nudge yourself half way through.

There are two outstanding and climatic scenes that are prominently what shocked audiences and critics alike, that although are the epitome of horror, manage to encompass the truth of love and lust. The first is the emotional and in-depth love making threesome and the second is the erotic yet mentally scarring climax, which involves self-mutilation and a lot of some suspect white substance. Both these dramatic scenes are transgressed to the beautiful melodies created by Hermann Kopp, John Walton and Lorenz. There’s something ever so romantic and mesmerising about the scores used within the soundtrack, which touches on how this truly is a depressing love tale of the ultimate deception; a man left by his wife for a foul and rancid corpse. The adverse effect of forcing the audience to see the revolting scenes whilst listening to lullabies really contorts the senses and causes the brain to divulge into crossing that line between pleasure and pain.

Eye see you!

The only slight aspect that I didn’t fully enjoy was having to bear witness to the upsetting rabbit slaughter scenes, however, the killing was clearly performed by a trained rabbit breeder who ended its life as humanely as possible. Compared to some of the brutality displayed towards animals in Italian films, this is rather tame; therefore it didn’t change the course of my opinion. There’s also the part where the he takes that saying about swinging cats around in bags a little too seriously, but fortunately that was pure trickery and we never see the cat actually harmed.

Nekromantik is a film that was purely created in order to rebel against the societal norms of Germany, and also the film rating system, which can be undeservedly harsh. Censorship is an important concern to many film buffs alike, due to the fact that as adults we should be able to make conscious decisions as to whether or not we view material that others may deem potentially psychologically damaging. Horror seeps at every crevice, defining it as a horror film, but everywhere you look there’s symbolism of some form that also categorises this film as an art piece. The ominous cadaver is a vessel for the couple’s obvious fears over death and the end. It’s been a long time since a film evoked a medley of emotions in me and made me wonder who might rape and violate my body once it’s nothing but a pile of rotting viscera. Nekromantik is an unforgettable tale of death, love, lust, bereavement and self loathing; love it or hate it, you won’t be able to deny the power it holds.

Verdict: 5 out of 5

If you’re interested, I got this beautiful limited edition boxset of Nekromantik that includes some mind-blowing artwork, over at Arrow.

She’s nearly as disgusted as Drake after that kiss…

Director: Peter Askin
Starring: Joan Allen, Anthony LaPaglia, Stephen Lang and Cara Buono
Duration: 97 minutes

As a self proclaimed Stephen King fan, it was difficult to restrain my excitement at being sent the screener for A Good Marriage. There’s not many stories from King that I’ve been disappointed with as he manages to always add a unique and dark twist to any tale, whether horror or a little more thriller. However, the dubious side of me always comes out to play when a novel is turned into a film, because written stories don’t always adapt particularly well once transformed into film state. Nether the less, the premise of the story reminded me slightly of recent dark thrillers revolving around a sinister marriage, such as Gone Girl and Before I Go To Sleep, which were both book adaptations. Sometimes though, the truth is blurred by high expectations.

After 25 years of being blissfully married to her seemingly perfect husband, Darcy Anderson thinks that life has hit the good spot and she’ll continue living happily ever after. Unfortunately for Darcy she makes a grim and gruesome discovery about her husband, Bob’s true nature. Her so-called loving, caring, charming and funny father-of-her-children has an alter ego that lusts after young women, slaughter and deception. Will Darcy overcome her love and fear to stop her menacing partner?

Not everyone will be able to get into the slow burn of this movie, however for a story such as this one, there is no way to make it into an energetic and ruthless movie. We watch Darcy’s life quietly crumble before her eyes as she desperately tries to hide her anguish at discovering Bob is a serial killer. You might presume that’s a plot spoiler, but we learn this information fairly early on in the film, therefore there’s no need for cover ups, as they lead to exposure. Joan Allen fantastically portrays the anguish, confusion and distress you would experience after exploiting the love of your life as a sick and twisted killer. Allen also captures the utter fear of having to sleep peacefully, with your back towards a man that openly admits to brutally murdering women.

The particular scene that prominently stuck in my mind is when Darcy bravely confronts Bob, and he spirals into a calm outburst about his obvious insanity, and how, since a young age, he has always been drawn to committing disgusting crimes. Although it was interesting to watch his oddly chilled demeanour explain how his alter ego is a monster, it wasn’t convincing. Anthony LaPaglia does a good job, but not an excellent job, which really takes away from his character feeling frightening. The personality he brings to the film isn’t that of a serial killer, it just completely flopped when trying to make me feel the angst that Darcy feels. As a serial killer, you need to encompass the aspects of a psychopath; how one minute you’re that sweet and cheeky husband, and the next, that sinister and aggressive stranger.

Bob looking like a boring old CEO.

The rest of the film manages to build anxious tension throughout, and we start to understand the motives of Darcy and why she acts in such a way. After the discovery, her character adapts and changes according to the situations that she’s put in. Darcy also becomes a braver, more intelligible woman that can be just as deceptive and nasty as her husband can be. In a marriage it takes two to tango, and you have to make sure you’re not being fooled by a plethora of bullshit. The story itself is realistic, frightening and grim, but for me, it doesn’t quite convert into a film as well as everyone would have liked. As with the aforementioned Gone Girl and Before I Go To Sleep, these tales create a far more panicked and terrifying experience when read, as you become consumed imagining yourself as the character that fears for their life. As a film, you watch as a third person, which is never very frightening, because you could just walk away from it all at any point. The audience need to really feel the protagonists fear, not just witness it.

Bob’s character was loosely based upon the BTK serial killer, which means he was one seriously messed up man, but this is not really mentioned nor played upon in the film. If you’re looking for a film about serial killers and gruesome deaths, this is not it. We are not witness to any of the perturbed slaughtering; we are at home, hearts pounding, listening for his car pulling up and his footsteps ascending the stairs. A Good Marriage is a slow yet spine-chilling look at the reality of marriage, deception, murder and fear. Don’t go searching for blood and guts here, because sometimes the most chilling feeling is knowing you trusted and loved a stranger for your whole life.

Verdict: 3 out of 5

P.S. If you’re interested in the BTK killer, Dennis Rader, you should definitely have a peek at B.T.K (2008) – it’s quite a shoddy film, but it’s pretty visual, bloody and disturbing. It’s also quite inaccurate, but hey, who cares.

“Soldiers of the Damned is truly a clever, distinctive, bloody and enthralling film, which I highly recommend.”

So, I recently watched a little indie film directed by Mark Nuttall, that’s about a group of German soldiers sent behind the Russian border to retrieve an ancient and precious relic, but the enemy woods hold fates far worse than being killed in combat.

If you like the war genre and horror genre then you should definitely give it ago; it’s a film with some flaws but story is refreshing and an idea unused before (to the best of my knowledge).

Click here to read the review on London Horror Society :)